When my mom died, I was kinda thrown into the world of the uncomfortable. It’s like jumping off a cliff, or being pushed off is a better way of putting it. When I got back from Jamaica, I went to bed that night, and the first order of business: sign off on the funeral arrangements. Any one of my brothers or sister, grandma, grampa could have done it, but no, the family had immediately designated it as my responsibility. Since then I have been President and CEO of this family; executor of probate, in charge of all property, financial matters, and good advice. It was kind of like being pushed off a cliff, into the water.
If I was pushed off a cliff, I, fortunately can swim, and I can swim like a fish. Well, maybe a small whale, but none the less, water is my friend. Now, would I jump off a cliff into water without thinking about it: probably not. Would I have volunteered to be incharge of all of my mother’s estate: I would have had to given that one some serious thought before I said “yes.” Sometimes, that’s the only way people like me can get into jumping into something new; by being given a little shove.
Iris is not exactly the “cook” in the house. Now, don’t get me wrong, she Shake and Bake a mean chicken leg where I seriously failed in that one. (Seriously, the box said “shake and bake” so that’s what I did, I put the stuff in a bag with the chicken, and I shaked it, then baked it.) She is very good at what she can do, however when it comes to the crafty meals of the house, I am normally the one to do it, and I enjoy it. I remember the first day she made Krafts Macaroni and Cheese; that day will live in infamy in this house. Now, I am not bagging on Iris, and her ability to cook, so please don’t take this the wrong way, because it has a serious lesson in it, since then I have used it as advice when asked about this subject. Iris had filled the pan with water, set it on the stove, fired up the stove, and then immediately threw the macaroni in from the box. Needless to say the macaroni came out as one big chunk of macaroni. How do you screw up Macaroni and cheese? It’s like a 3 step process…!!! She said she had never done it before, and since then began a lesson in life that has prompted the saying in this house on almost every lesson we encounter: Step One – Boil Water.
I watched a movie in which the main character had always dreamed of being a pilot, and worked in the airport, and every day watched planes taking off, and landing; either coming or going from somewhere. He said that one day he’d like to be a pilot. But what did he do about it? Working at an airport didn’t do anything for learning how to be a pilot or his pilot’s license. It took someone to believe and encourage him to tell him if he wanted to be a pilot, he could. He just needed someone to encourage him enough to go to step one: go to pilot’s school. At the end of the movie, he surprised his girlfriend by leading her to an airplane in which he jumps into the pilots seat and said “Ever been to San Francisco?”
I don’t really believe in New Years Resolutions. I think I only made one in my entire life; and that was to allow anyone to steal my joy again. I’ve stuck to it, but I have never made another one. When my mom was alive she was always afraid that I would have a heart attack before I was 40. I would go for a Jog, and I actually use to exercise pretty regularly when I was in school (TV-I / CNM). Now, after she died, I have since been seen by a sleep specialist, and renowned cardiologist Dr. Barry Ramo himself, and both of them have told me I need to cut my weight down. I have to sleep with a machine if I want a decent nights sleep, and Dr. Ramo has me on this God forsaken heart monitor that is a pain in the rear end to wear. Now, to look at me, you wouldn’t think I’m really not feeling well. I always keep a pretty up – beat attitude. My mom was like that. She lived in pain for nearly 22 years of her life, but to look at her, she never showed it. However, having to sleep with a machine, and wear a heart monitor; it’s kinda hard to mask what I’m feeling. Do I want to keep having to “fake it?” Or do I want to try to feel better?
I thought about it, and I decided that I want to feel better. Not loose weight, not look pretty, not for anyone or anything, but just to feel better. But what do I do? Now if you’re like me, you’d say the same thing; “I wanna feel better right now.” You know, the instant gratification thing. I even thought about lipo-suction!!! Yea, I said it!! I actually considered that. But do you know the statistics of people who have lipo-suction who don’t maintain - can end up right where they started again? I don’t have time to google it, but I watch the discovery channel, trust me, it’s quite a bit.
So, what do I do??? Man, I tell you what, I pondered it and thought about it, analyzed it, and I don’t know how I am going to do it. Then, when reading a book by Zig Ziglar, it dawned on me. I can’t loose 50lbs in a year, it’s impossible (for me anyway). But what if I just shot for just 1 to 2lbs a week. I… I could do that! Wait, how could I do that? It’s funny how life works out.
The next day I noticed they opened up a gym right up the street from my house.
“But I can’t afford a new Gym Membership! (Here come the excuses right about now)
“It’s too far” (a mile and ½ tops from my house).
There’s too much traffic for me to ride my segway (now I’m reaching for excuses =o).
“I’ll stink up the car from sweating after the shower.” (even though my mom did the same thing every day, and I never smelled it.)
How about my blood sugar? Last time I was at a Gym, I had a sugar reaction, and I collapsed, what if it happens again?”
“It’s too cold outside, I don’t have a jacket I want to stink up walking in and out of the gym” – (that one actually was a good one. It was like 11 degree’s outside)
I could give you about 15 pages worth of excuses, but I think you get the point. Then a commercial; the gym down the street offering a $99 deal for a one year membership, and what did I have in my hand at that particular time?, a $100 bill that my grandpa gave me for Christmas. Well, that was it; time to swallow my own words. Step one: go to the Gym. Needless to say, on December 30th I took my $100 bill and went and paid for my first Gym Membership. Step 2 wasn’t any easier, but I had to get to step one to get to step 2. I just made a decision to get up and go, looking back, it wasn’t that hard. I think I put more work into figuring out excuse after excuse, and psyching myself out, then actually doing it. I went to the Gym twice, I think I’m going to start keeping track, and just shooting for 2lbs. And what if I don’t make my Goal? I’m not going to worry about that. I can’t fail at something I’m not reaching for, I am making it about the journey, not the finish line. What wonderful things are going to be in store for me along the way? I loose my membership to the heart hospital? I have to return my sleep machine? I may even have a better handle on my sugar problems, back problems, and as a whole, feel better!!!
In the last two years working for the Albuquerque Convention Center, I promised myself that this would be the last security job I do. I have been doing it for close to 20 years, I have mastered it, taught it, wrote books about it, but man, it is a job that will keep a lid on you for the rest of your life. I wanted to do something different. Well, in October 2010 I left the convention center, I mounted up on my segway, and rode off into the sunset. Man, what a scary world. I was comfortable in my job, I loved my job, but man, was it taking its toll on me. I was having weight problems because I wasn’t eating or sleeping regularly. I was having heart problems because I was always so stressed out. Hair was turning grey. My mind was able to keep up, but my body wasn’t. So, here was my chance. I have always been told I should start my own business, but what? Security? Consulting? What? Then it hit me, I have spent so much time at the convention center, working for a church, doing security, that I have become some what of an expert in problem solving in events. In 2010 alone I have coordinated and consulted on several events outside of the convention center, and these folks sought me out, so why not be an event planner?
Work for myself? Wow? How? What do I do? Where do I go? Questions, Questions, Questions… Then it hit me: Step one. Step one, file for a tax ID number. And things have just been falling into place since. I have since had my Articles of Organization approved by the State PRC Commission, I have my business license, business cards, email address, bank accounts, and off to closing my first deal with several leads in the making. Now, it’s not immediate success, it is something I didn’t have in the beginning of October. When you start from rock bottom, you have no where to go but up. (Heard that in a movie once, it stuck).
So, where is your Step One? Go look in your cupboard, and grab the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese box, look on the side, and when you see Step One: Boil Water, remember all you have to do is boil water! I’m not saying the rest will be easy, however, it will be some pretty good Mac and Cheese!
2011 is a new year, what was 2010 is in 2010. 2011 will only be what you make it. I’m not saying there wont be bumps in the road, tragedy may even strike! Yes, the road ahead is filled with many uncertain and scary things, I wont sugar coat it. Shit will happen. The question is, how will you handle it? I have used this verse before, 2 Timothy 1:7 that God did not give us a spirit of Fear. Meaning we were not born with fear, we learned it. Take child, a child is fearless. It’s not until they are taught that the stove is hot do they learn to fear it’s potential for pain. Pastor Steve Smotherman taught me that the Bible describes fear as a Spirit. But the Spirit is not from God, so where is it from? Well, what is not of God, it is of the devil. Think of Bobby Boucher’s mom from The Water Boy: “Fear is the Devil!”
So, what do you do about it? Recognize it, and pray it out. It may take several times to do it, but I prayed it out, and believed it out. I Believe that My God is more powerful than the spirit of fear, and that with His help, He will see me thru it! I believe He will see you thru it too. Then with every little triumph over fear, you will see your life start to change. I am so glad that I learned this lesson with my mom before she died. It helped me to be the strong one. Don’t get me wrong, I spent many many MANY nights in sloppy nasty, snot all over the place, neighbors thinking I was being beaten down crying in agony, and many showers just pounding on the walls, but I got thru it. I’m still getting thru it. Now,I can talk about it. I can listen to the music without having to stop the car, and I believe that my God is a powerful God. 2 Tim 1:7 also say that God DID give me the spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind. I don’t have to get it, I don’t have to find it, I don’t even have to learn it; I just have to use it.
In 2011 Let Tears be Tears, let your triumphs be triumphs, let your power be powerful! let your love be real! And Let your mind be at peace about everything!
Thank you for reading this! I appreciate it.